So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
