Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I'm too high and old for this...
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
