I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
You made out with two different species that night
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
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