WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
