Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
You can't just leave with hair like that
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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