How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
