Heybabeimwearingurpanties
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
