I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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