All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
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