The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
