Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Its about making memories worth repressing
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Randomize
