he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
