call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
