It's Friday. Sex?
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
