Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
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