all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
