life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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