I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
