He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
