I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
