I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Randomize
