I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
