do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
