using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
