i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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