i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Randomize
