Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
