just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
