ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Randomize