Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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