i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize