..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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