I think I won the penis lottery.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
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