the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
