yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Randomize