You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
