don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize