Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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