Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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