my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize