Is it because I queefed?
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
