Joe is yelling at the trees again.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
