apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
