whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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