Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
