Christians are straight up FREAKS
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
