girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize