erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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