OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
