barbara walters just said penis...
he puts the penis in happiness.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
