I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
