I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
