Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
