so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize