All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
