I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
